Thoughts.

The man across from me is reading his unintersting book. He moves his finger awkwardly in and out of his mouth as if his filange is some sort of open seasame. He’s tilting his head now and impatiently tapping his watch. Perhaps he can feel my eyes burning a hole though his black and grey hair.

There is a child sitting adjacent from the both of us. She is swinging her young legs wildly out into the isles. Her bright pink rainboots sloshing up the rest of the buses pitiful blue flooring. The girl is young and stupid. Carefree I’d even say. She yawns and sticks out her tongue which is stained red from whatever artifical treat she consumed earlier.

The bus’ loud engine roars up as we chuck through the wet sorrowful streets of Ednaberry. I look out a nearby window hoping to catch some lucky lads attention. I want to wave. Put a smile on someone’s face, if only for a moment. My eyes scan the outside clatter but Noone meets them. Everyone in town is too wrapped up in their own problems to even awknowledge an encouraging face. I fold my hands and redirect my focus back into my bus car.

Roadkill Crossing

By Bruce Stambaugh

For those of us fortunate enough to live within proximity of giant stands of mixed hardwood trees, fall is a glorious time of year to observe life’s constant changes.

The annual autumn spectacular of the once lush leaves magically transforming the emerald landscape into magnificent warm rainbows carries us into nostalgic reflectivity. This year I couldn’t help but note a symbolic similarity in the recent death of the ingenious Steve Jobs, the guru who started Apple Computer.

The very first computer I ever used was an Apple. Just the name of the computer endeared educators to these amazing, easy to use personal computers. School systems across the country bought them for student and teacher use. The fact that Apple was wise enough to give teachers and school districts educator discounts on their purchases made them all the more attractive.

One of the schools where I was principal…

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The Blabbermouth Blog

I was talking to some writerly/publishing-type friends the other night and I mentioned that I’m teaching a workshop in Hofstra University’s Continuing Ed program in the spring about Query Letters: why you need them; who they are sent to; what they should and shouldn’t include; how to write one. And then we got into a discussion about how quickly or slowly I can tell whether I’m going to read someone’s manuscript, based on their query. It kind of goes like this: if the query sucks in any of the myriad usual ways it can suck, I don’t bother with the manuscript. Sorry! I only have oh so much time. If the query comes to my e-mail address but is addressed to anybody but me, I don’t read the manuscript (I made an exception to this rule only once). If the query is too weird or too personal or sucks in …

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Nights of Passion

I am a member of CTRWA, which is a Connecticut chapter of the Romance Writers of America.  They are particularly gifted at putting on amazing educational events for writers.  I always leave feeling smarter, inspired, and energized to write.  I will be at this workshop, and because I believe in its value, I’m passing on this information to you.

CTRWA Proudly presents…

A Day with Laurie Schnebly Campbell
About The Psychology of Creating Characters

“Here’s your chance to create deep, well-rounded, flesh-and-blood characters!”
Linda Lael Miller, NYT bestselling author

What makes characters the way they are is the same thing that makes real-life people the way they are. Through years of research related to her background as a counseling therapist, Laurie has identified the four factors that determine personality. And the good news for authors is that these same factors create personality traits that automatically build the conflict that…

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valleybrown

Prepare for National Novel Writing Month with the Post a Day Challenge.

It’s never too late to give this a shot. Take a look and start writing.

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Blue Veins

This is my first entry on wordpress. I am intrigued to see how this goes. None of you all know me and I’d like to keep it that way.

For now.

Currently listening to: Blue Veins by The Raconteurs

Mood: Somber

I’ve been going through so much lately. I just moved into my own apartment. All on my own, no roomates, no fake bitches, no moochin ass niggas.

Its a one bedroom in posh upper middle class Hyde Park; Chicago,IL.

I have to admit, I’m doing loads better than more than half the people I know.

All of my friends have dwindled off, and fell to the waste side.

Their lives are complete garbage now.

They can’t say I didn’t tell them so.

Somehow I get a warm sense of satisfaction from their demises.

I knew they shouldn’t have fucked me over.

I guess karma really is a bitch.

So now I’m sitting in my room. alone. on my $1,200 bed, thinking back on life.

I really did get the last laugh.

Life is weird without a best friend, I do feel sad about that. Victoria has dropped off the face of the earth I think. Kalila deleted her facebook. Jackie is still… nowhere really. and the rest have gone back home as well, and fizzled out.

I have no one to talk to these days.

No best friend and I think I’ve lost keagan to some ugly white bitch.

So I truly have no one.

Maybe at a time of isolation it is time for inner peace and refelection. So i’m trying to do that. But it sure is lonely.

I’m a junior in art school now, so thats amazing.

I’m going to apply to Columbia University next year for 2013. Maybe I’ll be living in new york…

My love life is a whole other post though…

Whose the girl? Is this truth? Or is he writing fiction?

Originally posted to FB on Febuary 14,2010

I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss everything about you. I want to be in your bed again. In your arms again. Lights off, heat up, wrapped in sheets of silk. nothing between us, nothing holding back. Your body against mines, our skins blending as one.

Your arm around me, sweat dripping, but that’s okay, because I like it anyway.

And I watch you as you sleep. You look so sound, so at ease. And I can tell you trust me, and that puts my mind at ease. You fall alseep, so alseep that you snore.

I hate snoring. I despise the sound, but for some reason, yours is soothing.

I drift off into a nother land when I’m with you, and i sleep the best sleep I have ever slept.

I’ve never felt so perfect and innocent, than when I’m with you.

And i wake up, look at my phone, you stir, hair a mess.

Our thighs were intertwined, so we’re both kinda sweaty and gross.

You get up, naked.

I look at your body, my eyes studying your perfect form. God could have not made a more perfect boy. I love every inch of you. That beauty mark on the back of your…

You tell me to turn away and not look as you go to the bathroom, because I had told you the same the previous night when i got up naked.

I obey, but peek through my fingers. I love your shoulders.

We get dressed, brush our teeth. I come out of the bathroom, and stretch out my arms and yawn.

“Better now?” you ask.

“mhmm, very.” I say.

I walk up to you, look up and into your eyes, you pause, I take my hand, put it up to your face, and I kiss you. I pull away,I linger for a bit, taking all of you in… then grab my coat, and we’re heading out, to have our day.

I remember the first time me and him jammed to incubus together. it was so.. chill…

he had his silver macbook with him, and we were sitting in the lounge of my moms school, which i was kinda confined to that summer, but im so glad he didnt care.

he melted the hours away with me, just chillin, and talking. and when he couldnt stop by, he’d text me for hours.

but. this one day, he pulled up his itunes and he had hella incubus on it! i swooned so hard inside.

we sang “Dig” together, and he hit all the right notes.

then i showed him Envy On The coast, and he fell in love.

then he pulled up some “Chevelle” and we sang “Well Enough Alone” togther.

I dont even know if he remembers this…

i don’t know what he remembers about me…

it seems like hes forgotten…

oh, and i remember when he texted me and said “You look really pretty today.” and i blushed and replied “thanks” and he cleared his whole day just to hang out with me at the park and at my moms school…

I also remember our first move date.

ugh, i probally posted this memory already but, we had to get the seats all super close to the screen cause the theatre was mostly full. i remember sitting next to him thinking “god, if he only knew how badly i want to touch his hand’

and his arm was like right next to mine, but he didnt move it, and i was like “omg, his arm is touching mine. wth. and he isnt moving it. omg. nice.”

it took all i had not to touch his hand.

I also remember, one night we went to the park and stayed out until 10pm and laid down and watched the stars together. and he told me his dreams. and i told him mine. then we played truth or dare; the harry potter version.

i just remember having so much fun. the most fun ive had in a long time with a guy.

and i never wanted it to end..

i remember, one night, we were at his place, and we got intimate. and he went down on me, but, i had got pleasures like that from a few other guys, but nothing was like THIS night with him. It was probally because i loved him actually, and because he loved me, or atleast, i thought he did. his touch was so gentle. it was like we were about to make love or something. i know it sounds stupid, but it was just like out of a movie. he kissed down my stomach softly, and on my inner thighs, and idk it just felt so right. and perfect.

a mini rewind—-

i also remember, when he came over to my dorm, and i told all my roomates “the love of my life is about to come over omg. so act regular” and they were like “okay” and i walked outside to meet him, and he was dressed so casual lol.

but i just loved being with him. he didnt have to be dressed like a hipster for me to enjoy his company.

he was wearing a dark blue baseball cap, i still remember.

and he spent the night that night.

we were squeezed into my mini twinsize bed.

and we laid back, and fell asleep together. i woke up in his arms.

or, the other time, i spent this night at his place this time, and we fell asleep, with his arms around me. and it was all hot and sweaty and muggy but, i didnt care. i loved the touch of his moist skin on mine.

on another occasion, i laid on his chest, and kissed it, then i tickled him. then he tickled me back. i used to outline his body, and tell him how much i loved everything about it. he never believed me. and i dont fucking know why.

one night he was texting me, and he was like ‘do you care alot about width more or length” reffering to his dick.

and i was like “it doesnt matter to me, as long as its yours”

and he was like “are you sure?”

and i was like ‘omg, yes, why dont you believe me? Id still feel the same even if you didnt have a dick’ (not if he was a girl, but you know what i mean lol)

luckily, i later saw his dick and it was HUGE so idk what he was talking about, but anyhow,

i loved eveything about him… i dont think he ever got the picture.

he would always tell me “I hate my nose. it looks stupid’ or ‘Im too light. im too pale” and id rub his arm or id touch his nose, and say ‘I like it, its perfect’

but idk.. i guess i wasnt enough…

he would lay back with me, and tell me really nice sweet things, that i thought were genuine. one time we were laying in his bed and he was like ‘i love your skin, its so smooth” when he would rub my legs.

or the one time, he was rubbing my back, and he found a spot and he said “whats this?” like he really cared, and i said ‘thats an old scar, a chicken pock one’ and he said ‘ohh’ and continued rubbing,

thats the thing,

i felt like the most special girl in the whole world whenever i was with him..

i have tons more memories.

he probally doesnt remember any of these things…  😥

“Imma shake you off tho, get up on a horse and ride into the sunset,

Look back with no remourse…”

 

original entry: on tumblr, june 20th, 2010

Someone really special to me.

 

 

This is Keagan.

I’ve loved him since about 2007 when I first saw him at my new high school.

I can honestly say he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me, even on the bad days, its still good.

I don’t know. I just can’t seem to shake this kid.

I’ve felt this way about him through…3 or 4 different girlfriends of his.

For so long I was just the girl waiting along by the side, too afraid to make a move.

But when I finally did, all my dreams came true.

Until this day we are good friends. He’s my soul mate I truly feel.

We kinda dated or something in the past, and from time to time it still feels like that same relationship but stuff is rather different now.

Now as in, the past summer.

He’s still my golden boy.. He’s grand.

He doesn’t look like this anymore by the way haha.

His hair is tamed and he doesn’t wear man jewelery. This photo is from 4 years ago though and I’ve always fancied it.