I remember the first time me and him jammed to incubus together. it was so.. chill…

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he had his silver macbook with him, and we were sitting in the lounge of my moms school, which i was kinda confined to that summer, but im so glad he didnt care.

he melted the hours away with me, just chillin, and talking. and when he couldnt stop by, he’d text me for hours.

but. this one day, he pulled up his itunes and he had hella incubus on it! i swooned so hard inside.

we sang “Dig” together, and he hit all the right notes.

then i showed him Envy On The coast, and he fell in love.

then he pulled up some “Chevelle” and we sang “Well Enough Alone” togther.

I dont even know if he remembers this…

i don’t know what he remembers about me…

it seems like hes forgotten…

oh, and i remember when he texted me and said “You look really pretty today.” and i blushed and replied “thanks” and he cleared his whole day just to hang out with me at the park and at my moms school…

I also remember our first move date.

ugh, i probally posted this memory already but, we had to get the seats all super close to the screen cause the theatre was mostly full. i remember sitting next to him thinking “god, if he only knew how badly i want to touch his hand’

and his arm was like right next to mine, but he didnt move it, and i was like “omg, his arm is touching mine. wth. and he isnt moving it. omg. nice.”

it took all i had not to touch his hand.

I also remember, one night we went to the park and stayed out until 10pm and laid down and watched the stars together. and he told me his dreams. and i told him mine. then we played truth or dare; the harry potter version.

i just remember having so much fun. the most fun ive had in a long time with a guy.

and i never wanted it to end..

i remember, one night, we were at his place, and we got intimate. and he went down on me, but, i had got pleasures like that from a few other guys, but nothing was like THIS night with him. It was probally because i loved him actually, and because he loved me, or atleast, i thought he did. his touch was so gentle. it was like we were about to make love or something. i know it sounds stupid, but it was just like out of a movie. he kissed down my stomach softly, and on my inner thighs, and idk it just felt so right. and perfect.

a mini rewind—-

i also remember, when he came over to my dorm, and i told all my roomates “the love of my life is about to come over omg. so act regular” and they were like “okay” and i walked outside to meet him, and he was dressed so casual lol.

but i just loved being with him. he didnt have to be dressed like a hipster for me to enjoy his company.

he was wearing a dark blue baseball cap, i still remember.

and he spent the night that night.

we were squeezed into my mini twinsize bed.

and we laid back, and fell asleep together. i woke up in his arms.

or, the other time, i spent this night at his place this time, and we fell asleep, with his arms around me. and it was all hot and sweaty and muggy but, i didnt care. i loved the touch of his moist skin on mine.

on another occasion, i laid on his chest, and kissed it, then i tickled him. then he tickled me back. i used to outline his body, and tell him how much i loved everything about it. he never believed me. and i dont fucking know why.

one night he was texting me, and he was like ‘do you care alot about width more or length” reffering to his dick.

and i was like “it doesnt matter to me, as long as its yours”

and he was like “are you sure?”

and i was like ‘omg, yes, why dont you believe me? Id still feel the same even if you didnt have a dick’ (not if he was a girl, but you know what i mean lol)

luckily, i later saw his dick and it was HUGE so idk what he was talking about, but anyhow,

i loved eveything about him… i dont think he ever got the picture.

he would always tell me “I hate my nose. it looks stupid’ or ‘Im too light. im too pale” and id rub his arm or id touch his nose, and say ‘I like it, its perfect’

but idk.. i guess i wasnt enough…

he would lay back with me, and tell me really nice sweet things, that i thought were genuine. one time we were laying in his bed and he was like ‘i love your skin, its so smooth” when he would rub my legs.

or the one time, he was rubbing my back, and he found a spot and he said “whats this?” like he really cared, and i said ‘thats an old scar, a chicken pock one’ and he said ‘ohh’ and continued rubbing,

thats the thing,

i felt like the most special girl in the whole world whenever i was with him..

i have tons more memories.

he probally doesnt remember any of these things…  😥

“Imma shake you off tho, get up on a horse and ride into the sunset,

Look back with no remourse…”

 

original entry: on tumblr, june 20th, 2010

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Someone really special to me.

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This is Keagan.

I’ve loved him since about 2007 when I first saw him at my new high school.

I can honestly say he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me, even on the bad days, its still good.

I don’t know. I just can’t seem to shake this kid.

I’ve felt this way about him through…3 or 4 different girlfriends of his.

For so long I was just the girl waiting along by the side, too afraid to make a move.

But when I finally did, all my dreams came true.

Until this day we are good friends. He’s my soul mate I truly feel.

We kinda dated or something in the past, and from time to time it still feels like that same relationship but stuff is rather different now.

Now as in, the past summer.

He’s still my golden boy.. He’s grand.

He doesn’t look like this anymore by the way haha.

His hair is tamed and he doesn’t wear man jewelery. This photo is from 4 years ago though and I’ve always fancied it.